Quoth Og Mandino

"Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday, think of it no more."

My Authorial Debut

The Thrilling Sequel

So when exactly are you doing your Kickstarter?

OMG is that synchronicity or what?

I’ve had a few people email me to ask when they can expect to see my Kickstarter up and running. Tomorrow? No, not tomorrow. Jeez, I don’t even know what I’m going to do for a video yet. But the exciting news is that I have decided on an actual date!

See, I knew I wanted to launch the campaign sometime in mid-April, but I also really wanted to avoid April 15th (because that is just such an unlucky day.) So I was idly examining the calendar for alternatives and I noticed something that I hadn’t before …

There is a Friday the 13th in April!

So of course, I’m all over that. I write about witches and warlocks and ancient family curses and crap. How could I NOT make Friday the 13th my kick-off date? Sure, it may cost me the support of a few friggatriskaidekaphobics, but I’m willing to take that chance.

And so, with that milestone satisfactorily plugged into my project plan, I happily return to writing. I have such had a wonderful peaceful productive day so far. Everything’s so quiet on the Internet. It’s almost like there’s some kind of big event going on or something. Huh.

 

My Week in Twitter

  • Couldn't talk daughter out of stealing from the lonely old lady, but at least got her to leave something in exchange. Skyrim moral victory! #
  • Stayed late after work to finish up a major blog post on why 1910 rocked. Did you know Teddy Roosevelt invented 1337? Details tomorrow! #
  • Husband has been making me white russians all evening. #goooooodhusband #
  • Inspiring lunch with CEO & Interactive Strategist from Portland's Dojo Agency today. I got a sneak peek of s… http://t.co/GRZgeUzw #
  • Lovely new review of THE NATIVE STAR over at Nevermet Press! http://t.co/1vgFCqFc #
  • And what's up with #facebook Is my connection just slow, or did #anonymous hack it, or what? #
  • My GOD Sharepoint 2010. How is it possible that you don't have a feature that lets me bulk-change content type? SERIOUSLY I WANT TO KNOW! #
  • Sharepoint 2010 should be called Sharepoint 1910 because it perfectly replicates the experience of using a 100-year-old computer. #aaaaaargh #
  • So I just spent a half-hour changing, FILE BY INDIVIDUAL FILE the content type for two dozen files in my Sharepoint document library. #
  • This is because, as far as I can tell, Sharepoint does NOT allow you to set content type when you upload multiple files. #
  • So if I upload 2 dozen files, they default to the "document" file type and if I want them to be custom I have to go in and change them. #
  • I cannot believe that even MSFT would be this stupid. There MUST be something I have overlooked. There just has to be. #
  • OMG you guys it gets worse. So let's say you've already uploaded an image and you want to upload a new version w/same filename … #
  • You'd think the new version would inherit the MANUAL change you made to the file's content type, wouldn't you? BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG!! #
  • Dang! Where is $875k when I really need it?? RT @breakingPDXnews Masons list Oregon City lodge for $875K. http://t.co/CRkKGdRP #
  • Hey, Oregon City Library, hope you are all over this! Masons list Oregon City lodge for $875K. http://t.co/CRkKGdRP #
  • I give my daughter crap about how much time she wastes playing Skyrim while I sit here wasting time watching her. #ohtheironiesofmotherhood #
  • Anyone out there wanna hook me up with a Pinterest invite? #
  • Thank you for the Pinterest invite, @steampunkcom !! #theinternetisahornofplenty #
  • OK, seriously … Pinterest? It is going to DEVOUR ME. I've … I've never felt this way about a social media platform. #
  • OMG was there NOTHING Teddy Roosevelt couldn't do? http://t.co/mOqQdHnN #

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Lips, Part Deux

So last night when I got home, I was so fired up with enthusiasm over the idea of making my own secret special lip balm which would obviate the need to carry around vagina anti-itch cream in my purse (a difficulty detailed in my blog post about my personal lip woes) that I actually put a double-boiler on the stove, melted 2 tubes of Burt’s Bees, added a bit of kokum butter, then squeezed in a heaping squirt of vagina anti-itch cream. Then I poured the melted stuff back into the Burt’s Bees tubes and set them in the fridge to harden. And now I HAVE TWO TUBES OF MIRACLE LIP CURE! It totally works and I love it! OMG I WILL MAKE MILLIONS!

And best of all, Bruce Williams, Portland writer & swell guy I met at the Nebulas, has already designed me a lip balm pot! Watch out Etsy, here I come!

(Well, maybe after I finish the book) :-)

The State of My Lips

See these gorgeous lips? These are not my lips.

I know I usually complain about my butt, but over the past several months (really, now that I think about it, this has been going on for a whole year) I have been struggling with chronic and severe chapped lips. And not just your garden variety dry & flakies, but full on lip-hives, the kind which embarrass you in public and make you cover your mouth with your hand when you’re speaking to people. I have not been able to determine exactly what causes the flare-ups … tomatoes, lemon juice, salt, wheat and stress have all been implicated, but not definitively proven. When I have a flareup, the only way I can get the lip-insanity under control is by taking a couple tabs of my ol’ pal benadryl and heading immediately to bed (ice also helps.) If only it were as easy as taking care of the immediate swelling, though! Things actually get worse once the swelling goes away, as I’m left with excruciatingly painful cracks and splits that just won’t. go. away.

So of course, my family keeps asking me why I don’t go see a dermatologist or an allergist. Like, actually go see a professional about this problem that’s been plaguing me for the better part of a year? Never! I’m a cankerous, lazy, self-sufficient old cuss and if I can’t fix it myself then I don’t want it fixed. I’m also a bit old-school when it comes to doctors—unless it’s cancer or kidney failure, I figure they don’t know anything more than I can find out by myself on the Intranets. As a result, I’ve self-diagnosed (and attempted treatments for) perleche, cat allergies, allergy to petroleum jelly, excessive dryness in my bedroom, bacterial infection, vitamin B deficiency, vitamin D deficiency, and full-on demonic possession.

Nothing has worked. The biggest problem is that I keep running into a Catch-22: my lips need to be moisturized, but anything I put on them to moisturize them seems to irritate & inflame them. There ARE are some all-natural moisturizers that I don’t react to (coconut or olive oil) but they all just slide off my lips in a greasy mess. So I just don’t moisturize. But if I don’t moisturize, the problem gets worse!

But now, I believe I have discovered the cure. And what a cure it is!

It’s … Vagisil. Not the antifungal kind, just the plain ol’ anti-itch kind. The kind you use to relieve itching and burning … down there. It’s stuffed with benzocaine, which completely knocks out the itching and pain. And it has just enough emollients that my lips get some moisture. And best of all the emollients do not include petroleum jelly (aka petrolatum) which I really do think I’ve developed quite a sensitivity to, and which is in most lip-balms.

So the upshot of this whole post is that I now have to walk around with a tube of vagina anti-itch cream in my purse, and I have to find ways to covertly apply it to my (ahem) upstairs lips when necessary.

Of course now, having figured out what I believe to be an effective solution, I am thinking about getting out my pots and pans and mixing up some custom lip balm, using the vagina anti-itch cream and maybe some kokum butter or something. I could put it in nice little pots and call it “Mary’s Special Lip Balm” and no one would be the wiser.

Thus is the State of My Lips. I’m sure you were all dying to know.

Welcome to 1910

So in case anyone who reads this blog is insufficiently schooled in the extent and specifics of my ongoing insanity, I shall lay it all out in the simplest of terms: I am writing a series. And not just any series, but a fantasy series. And not just any fantasy series, but a historical fantasy series. (And a partially self-published historical fantasy series at that. Go sign up for my mailing list whydoncha?)

The series as a whole is made up of component duologies. Each duology follows different characters and is set in a different era of United States history. Concurrent to the writing and promotion of these books, I am posting my historical research, interesting factoids, et cetera.

The first duology was set in 1876—and for it, I did an overview post about 1876. The second duology is set in 1910. So here, without further ado, are my thoughts about why 1910 was so flippin’ awesome and why I decided to set two books in it.

OK. So. 1910. Fifty years after the Civil War, and the United States looks a whole lot different than it did. Mr. Bell’s telephone (which was first demonstrated in 1876, at the Philadelphia Centennial Exposition) is in widespread use, with millions of American homes already connected by manual switchboard. This is the era of telephone operators—”hello-girls”—who do the actual grunt-work of connecting calls. Not that there is probably much actual grunting involved, but my point is a long distance call isn’t just a matter of dialing a 1 before the area code. It means calling your local operator at your local switchboard, who jams a plug into a board to complete a circuit between you and another operator, who plugs in another plug to connect you to another operator somewhere further along, and so on, and so on, and so on.

Oh, that crazy Tesla!

Electricity is hot, gas is not. Not for lighting the home and street, anyway. By 1910, literally thousands of homes have “made the switch” to electric lighting instead of gas or kerosene. (Of course, true historians of electricity will see the funny joke I just made there, because in 1910, the “light switch” as we know it today was not yet in evidence. Neither was the wall outlet. Check out this fascinating blog post for all the deets. Fun fact—the light turny-dial things (and push-buttons) shown are just like the ones in the house I live in, which was built in 1916!)

A different kind of gas—petroleum gasoline—is gaining popularity, as it is one means by which the ever-increasing numbers of automobiles are being fueled. But gasoline-fueled cars are by no means standard. The war for America’s Automotive Future will not be won until the major drawback of gasoline automobiles—the fact that they are really hard to start and can, like, break your arm with their kickback—is conquered by the self-starter, first installed by Cadillac on production models in 1912. Thus, in 1910 the gasoline auto is still in the process of duking it out for supremacy with other serious (electric) and less serious (steam) contenders.

What else is going on? Oh gee, all sorts of stuff. Aliens crash land in RussiaTeddy Roosevelt invents 1337 speak. Max Planck formulates quantum theory.

It's a time of dogs wearing top hats. You can't beat that.

Money in 1910 comes in a staggering variety of colors, shapes and sizes, and is issued by all sorts of people. In 1910, everybody apparently has the right to issue currency. Good times. This is probably why the 1900s will come to be called the “Progressive Era”—well, that, and because they are also a period of intense social activism and reform.

When I think of the 1870s, I think of corruption—they were a time of political bosses, gladhanding, commodity-market cornering, trusts, and kickbacks. When I think of the 1900s, I think of idealism. Paternalistic idealism, to be sure—but it was an era of trust-busting, organized labor, and the City Beautiful movement. In the 1900s, we were playing on a bigger stage and we had to clean ourselves up and look like civilized human beings. We did not always succeed.

But by cracky, it was a fun ride!