I am up at 2 a.m. for no good reason.

Well, actually maybe there is a good reason … had a headache all day, thought “hey, maybe I should apply some caffiene to that headache” and so I drank a humongous Big Gulp of Diet Pepsi at, like, 8:45 p.m.

The weird thing is, sometimes caffeine makes me sleepy. Sometimes it keeps me awake. I swear to God, my body is engineered like some obscure, tempermental Eastern-European automobile. Getting one thing working screws something else up.  I could go take some benadryl, but given my screwy makeup, that would probably result in me getting a toothache. Or hair loss. Or perhaps boils. I shan’t risk it.

Sweet dreams, all you lucky bastards out there.